The City that Never Was

After I’ve ranted to some poor unsuspecting person about museums for way too long, unless they take the first opportunity to dash away, they often ask me “Okay. If you could make a museum, what would you do?”. Little do they know I have at least a dozen ideas and a pre-prepared PowerPoint presentation for just such an ask.

In all seriousness, it’s not a particularly easy question to answer. As with many things there are so many caveats and constraints that make wild imaginings rather difficult to follow through on. I have worked with a number of museums and collections at various times on a number of projects, and I may speak about some of them in the future. The various ideas I espouse in this blog and lessons learnt from my years of science communication are something that I can and have used to help others try to improve their own spaces (Incidentally my consultancy rates are very reasonable).

However, here I want to instead let my imagination run a little while and talk about what I would do if I had total creative control and a nice big budget in an occasional segment I’ll call ‘My Museums’.

It is important to note that these ideas are not normal museums per se. Inspired by a trip to my favourite museum of all time the Museum of Jurassic Technology (that I will definitely write about sometime) they are more typically museums about museums. Ways of trying to use the design of a space and the very idea of museums to say something.

A History that Never Happened

It’s not an altogether rare framing device for some Fantasy or Sci-Fi book to be a supposed in-world artefact. Be it a character's diary, or a story recorded by some scholar who may occasionally choose to make references. This is I think best typified by something like Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, it reads like a historical monograph complete with footnotes.

However, the particular notion struck me several years ago when I was watching a YouTube video from a channel that I now for the life of me can’t track down. The idea was simple, a 10ish minute video aping the popular style of YouTube history channels recounting some battle, or the rise of a particular historical figure. The only difference was that they were instead talking about Lord of the Ring’s Battle of Helm’s Deep, or the ascension of Warhammer 40k’s God Emperor of Mankind.

‘Coronation of the Warmaster’ based on Warhammer 40K Lore (Image by L J Koh)

The next idea that comes from this is pretty simple. Why not have a museum dedicated to 40K lore? There are already plenty of items made for promotional purposes, or crafted by dedicated fans. Why not put this together as a museum.

The appeal of this is already fairly obvious. There are a number of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc attractions across the world which bring in plenty of interest. For a while there was even a Doctor Who museum in Blackpool that I went to many times as a child. So there is an interest in these objects, the only difference here is to instead treat it all with a straight face. Bring in a little bit of that theme park magic to say that whilst you are within these walls it is all real. If nothing else the novelty should bring in the press and crowds.

A Museum is a Place with a Purpose

It’s a fun idea, and still something I'd love to see. But to me a museum has a duty to be a place that preserves, educates, and/or informs. So instead I began to wonder what you could do with such an idea, how to make it worthwhile? Eventually I dropped it altogether. 

It was only after my visit to the Museum of Jurassic Technology that I revisited the idea. To me it is a place that forces the question of ‘what is a museum and why?’. What is a museum's purpose? How and why was it constructed? Who’s story does it tell?

And so the idea came back to me. When we visit a museum it tells us a story, about history, or science, or the people and things of a place. Often we absorb this almost entirely uncritically. Whilst you might express scepticism over a new article or maybe even a book if it’s in a museum then it is somehow more sacrosanct. The idea that it is there in physical space somehow imbues it with a certainty which it cannot truly have. Even when many museums constantly talk about how their objects have been reinterpreted and better understood over years of study.

The City That Never Was

The idea then is to fully confront people with this reality. A dupe, a con, a plot twist that people shouldn’t see coming. The story of the city that never was.

Picture an exhibition room. It tells the story of a lesser known city that wasn’t too far from here that was broadly wiped out by a war or a plague or some such and now its only remnants come from a handful of artefacts, how would they know otherwise.

I could say this carved stone come from Ancient Greece, The Vikings, or the Romans and most people wouldn’t be able to disagree (Image from Meigle Museum)

The exhibit itself follows as normal a condition as can be managed. A case on its founding with some pottery sherds and perhaps a belt buckle. A modern bolt of wool to symbolise its biggest export, a painting of some local lord accepting tribute, a quote from some famous author like Chaucer describing the place as they passed through. Finally another display board describing the story of its downfall to some disaster and perhaps a pithy remark to thinking about how fragile our modern world is.

Really the whole exhibit should be made as boringly predictable as it can be. The kind of exhibit that even the least avid museum goer has seen a dozen times over. Perhaps it could even be made to look dated.

Then, beyond that a final room (artfully hidden from the previous ones) where the wall reads something like ‘Baranforth did not exist’ in bright friendly letters. The room then can reveal what some of the objects actually are and discuss places where other museums have bent the truth or straight up lied.

The message is fairly simple. Do not uncritically absorb information just because it is in a museum.

The practicality of keeping this twist however possibly renders the whole idea mute. If you were to advertise the idea of it then it wouldn’t be a twist anymore which rather takes the joy and more importantly the learning out of it. But equally without some kind of advertising how would you get anyone to show up?

Perhaps the best way would be for it to be taken up by some kind of major museum that already has a reputation and a willing audience. Somewhere like the British Museum where any display is going to have a guaranteed crowd. Then rather than some dull town make some oblique reference like ‘The Lost Civilisation of X’ treating something like the European rediscovery of Angkor Wat with the sudden twist revealed at the end. Then you have to simply hope that the press and punters treat it like a movie twist and keep at least something of lid on it for most of the others that might visit.